Is this normal? How do I walk away from this?

Ok, so I know this isn't normal. I asked my friend to tell my crush that I liked him (which, by the way was a stupid idea) and obviously he said no. This was back in September. You would think that I would've gotten over him by now or at least bounced back up, but no, my attraction towards him has only grown, and I still suffer over this and replay the moment my friend said "I'm so sorry he said no when I asked him if he liked you or not, but he paused before he said it." I guess I'm a masochist. My personality has changed since then. I used to be outgoing, but now I'm distant, removed, bitter and sarcastic, and I find myself unable to move on. I've had a crush on him for 2 years now. How can I walk away from this and be myself again?